…to the tune “A TRIP TO BANALITY AND BACK ON ODIN’S HORSE”.
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On the first day of Christmas my true love sent to me Yggdrasil – cold, dark northern mother of every partridge in all the pear trees.
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On the second day of Christmas my true love sent to me TWO sacred groves, where germanic pagans made yuletide sacrifice of turtle doves, and Yggdrasil…
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On the third day of Christmas my true love sent to me THREE frankish henchmen, with St Boniface to fell Donar’s nasty pagan oak, TWO sacred groves…
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On the fourth day of Christmas my true love sent to me FOUR Livonian Schwarzhäupter sworn to defend the Baltic from pagan revolts, THREE frankish henchmen, TWO sacred groves…
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On the fifth day of Christmas my true love sent to me
M-A-R-T-I-N L-U-T-H-E-R-S R-I-N-G-S
(glittering as he added those candles to his saxon fir tree)… FOUR Livonian schwarzhaupter, THREE Frankish henchmen…
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On the sixth day of Christmas my true love sent to me SIX German princesses with time a-laying heavy… M-A-R-T-I-N L-U-T-H-E-R-S R-I-N-G-S… FOUR schwartzhaupter, THREE French henchmen, TWO sacred groves…
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On the seventh day of Christmas my true love sent to me SEVEN Victorian matrons swooning, SIX princesses a-languishing, M-A-R-T-I-N L-U-T-H-E-R-S R-I-N-G-S… FOUR schwartzhaupter, THREE French henchmen…
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On the eighth day of Christmas my true love sent to me EIGHT schmaltzy scribblers (having a dickens of a time) milking, SEVEN matrons swooning, SIX princesses a-languishing, M-A-R-T-I-N L-U-T-H-E-R-S R-I-N-G-S…
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On the ninth day of Christmas my true love sent to me NINE Bolsheviks dancing around their secular New Year Tree, EIGHT schmaltzy scribblers, SEVEN matrons swooning, SIX princesses a-languishing, M-A-R-T-I-N L-U-T-H-E-R-S R-I-N-G-S…
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On the tenth day of Christmas my true love sent to me TEN Boston lords leaping-angry at the PC “holiday tree”, NINE bolshies dancing, EIGHT schmaltzy scribblers, SEVEN matrons swooning…
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On the eleventh day of Christmas my true love sent to me ELEVEN million dollars flaunted on the “Most Expensive Christmas Tree Ever Created”, in a muslim city, in a bling bling hotel, TEN angry lords, NINE bolshies dancing, EIGHT schmaltzy scribblers…
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On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love sent to me TWELVE pages of hits on “Christmas Tree” in the Kindle e-book store, including the classics: The First Christmas Tree…The Last Christmas Tree…The Lonely Christmas Tree…Get A Good Christmas Tree or Die Trying…Baby Beneath The Christmas Tree (MIlls and Boon)…An Angel for the Christmas Tree (probably not Mills and Boon)…A Cowboy Under My Christmas Tree (?)…Swapping (and worse) Around the Christmas Tree (definitely NOT Mills and Boon)… BOGOF (the supermarket cat) and the Christmas Tree… The Runaway Christmas Tree…und so weiter, as the Weihnachtsbaum lovers say….
…ELEVEN million dollars, TEN Lords a-leaping, NINE Bolshies dancing, EIGHT schmaltzy scribblers, SEVEN matrons swooning, SIX princesses a-languishing…
M-A-R-T-I-N L-U-T-H-E-R-S R-I-N-G-S
…FOUR schwartzhaupter, THREE French henchmen, TWO sacred groves…and Yggdrasil,.. where all this craziness begins.
quixotree 